Criminal Love take 2
by Itachis959572ndFangirl
Summary: This is a story that my friend wrote about me, because she couldn't understand the original "Criminal Love" WARNING- This story may make you nauseating and you may lose your appetite for lunch.


Criminal Love (take two)

Whilst strutting down the road, dancing to thriller, a young "other European" girl with long flowing black hair (now not so long, she cut it) suddenly froze... She wasn't stationary for long however, an old man pushing a cart of rotting fish that he was unable to sell crashed into her from behind. His fading vision was failing him and did not see the young "other European" girl with long flowing black hair that was no longer long standing transfixed on the side of the sidewalk.  
"Dogge" "Splat" "EWWWWWWWWWWWW"  
The collision of these two beings will change their lives forever... The young "other European" girl with long flowing black hair that was cut would never smell the same (after the rotten fish the old man was unable to sell splatted on her). The old merchant man suddenly forgot his long-time wife and his favoured prostitute and suddenly became obsessed with the young "other European" girl with long flowing black hair that was cut... He was in love. Of course, his version of love was often unaccepted in most societies and, in fact, it was frowned upon.  
"What the hell? What's wrong with you? " The young "other European" girl with long flowing black hair that is now short, but still kind of long, was furious, she spat the words out without fully noticing the beginnings strings of drool streaming from the old man with the cart of rotting fishes mouth. Spinning around the young "other European" girl with longish flowing black hair desperately craned her neck, trying to look across the busy street. "He's gone! My "boyfriend" Itachi has disappeared!" In fact Itachi wasn't her boyfriend, he had only met the young "other European" girl with the long flowing black hair that was recently cut on two occasions, the first lasting two days and one night, and briefly for a few hours three days later. This "romantic night" which the young "other European" girl with longish black hair constantly talked about had been in the news quite a bit. The news referred to it as "A hostage situation". The few hours they "spent together" a couple of days later was in a crowded court room will the judge issuing a restraining order and advising a psychiatric assessment on the young "other European" girl with the black flowing (but not so long) hair.  
The young "other European" girl with longish black hair's eyes were alight, she screamed "Don't you know what's going on?" – She believed "her" Itachi was going to buy her the diamond ring he was looking at the other day; she was convinced the engagement ring was for her.  
Without wiping the now large puddle of drool rolling down his face and chest, the old man also had a glint in his eye, a slow, excited smile creped onto his wrinkled face. "I think I know what's going on here, come on, lets take off out cloths..." A blank, but not quite repulsed look was plastered onto the young "other European" girl with hair that flowed along her back, but not in the way it used to. "What? You're an old man, people of your advanced years don't do _that_" "You'll be surprised what us "people of advanced years" can do, what we get up to... We have decades of practise, I'm able to _rock your world..._" Suddenly the drool wasn't what was disgusting about him, nor that gagging mouldy-mixed-with-fish smell that polluted the air which surrounded him, it was the excited look on his "face"  
"... Oh! Officer, can you please escort me across the road?" The young "other European" girl with the slowly growing shortish hair spotted a police officer walking past and jumped in front of him. After gazing at her for a short time he responded "You're that crazed fan, we've been looking for you. Itachi reported that you were outside his house last night, that's violating the restraining order against you. Please step into the car ma'am; we'll take you to the station." Another officer appeared behind the young "other European" girl with the once-upon-a-time long hair, blocking the old man who was unable to sell his rotting fish's view of her. Snapping out of his daydream he suddenly spoke up "Officers that young lady is with me, I'll take her back to my place, we were planning to celebrate my 79th birthday together. Trust me, I'll be with her the whole time, I won't take my eyes off of her, she won't be a problem for you anymore." Staring at the young "other European" girl with longish but still shortish hair with confused looks which quickly turning into repulsion they politely responded to the old, smelly man who wasn't able to sell that days stock of fish, "Sorry Sir, we must take her to the station for a quick word. It won't take long. You can come down later and pay her bail, after that she's all yours." Without another word from either of the officers, the old man who failed at selling rotten fish or the young "other European" girl with kind-of-long black hair, the young "other European" girl with longish flowing black hair was swiftly placed into the back of a cop car and disappeared into the busy, imaginary land traffic.


End file.
